You’ve got the skills, you’ve got the knowledge, you’ve got the ambition, you’ve got the goals, and you’ve got the seventh cup of coffee, so why haven’t you got the line of best-fit clients queuing up at your door?
The longer I’m in business, the more I understand how important the right mindset is to… everything. Including building a brand that you love living in as much as your best-fit clients love spending time inside.
If you read last week’s Behind Closed Doors email, you’ll know that I’ve been “hiding” recently because of my skin. However, it’s not the way my skin looks that’s been stopping me from showing up on Instagram, it’s the mindset I have around the way my skin looks.
My confidence and self-esteem is low and that will come through on social media. I don’t want that, so best stay away.
People will think I’m unattractive. (Oh hey, ego, you sly fox!)
People will be looking at my skin and judging it instead of listening to me speak and judging that. (Wtf.)
All ridiculous, I know. And whether you, too, struggle with acne, or have skin as clear as a 24-carat diamond, I bet you recognise some of what I’m saying in whatever visibility niggles you deal with.
When it comes to building the brand you really want to live in, there are three particular mindfunks that will try their mightiest to chain you down, and the faster you can increase awareness of them, the easier it will become to reframe – and unchain – them.
1. Doubting every idea you’ve ever had
The scene goes something like this.
BAM. Idea whacks you in brain.
Wow! This is one of the best ideas I’ve ever had! THIS is what I’m supposed to be doing with my business! Finally, I’ve got it.
Excitement percolates. You wonder if you’re a genius.
Hmm. Is this actually a good idea though? Now that I’ve had time to think about it, I’m questioning my entire purpose on earth.
Excitement turns to anxiety. You’re not a genius. You’re an idiot!
Why on earth did I think that was a good idea? Every other business owner has probably had the same idea and not gone through with it because IT’S ACTUALLY A TERRIBLE IDEA.
Anxiety squashes idea and pulls up a cosy chair in your brain until the next time an idea hits.
I get it. This has happened to me so many times. And yet. If I always listened to the voice that told me my ideas weren’t worth bringing to life, Captivation House wouldn’t exist and I’d be stuck in an office, clock-watching like that was my job, praying the ice cream van turns up today because it is ROASTING LIKE A SWEET POTATO.
Try this reframe:
This idea is probably rubbish >>> This idea feels like it could be brilliant and so it’s worth exploring.
2. Comparing yourself to the entire internet
Her website’s so much more professional than mine, anyone in their right mind would hire her over me.
My brand photos make me look weird/fat/serious/insane/[insert any other negative thing here], but hers look slick af.
She wrote about the same topic as me but her approach is 100x better.
I could go on and on. Comparison could be used as a stun gun it’s so effective as getting us to not do the things we know we should do. But if you allow that to happen, you’re letting your ego make your decisions.
Last time I checked, you were the boss.
Try this reframe:
My brand will never be/look as good as hers so I’m not going to do anything >>> She’s doing an awesome job with her brand in her own way, now I’m going to do an awesome job with mine in my own way.
3. Being scared to show up “as yourself” because you’re scared people won’t like the real you
Truth: some people won’t like the real you. And that’s okay! In fact, it’s what we want. This state of mind is not a good enough reason to dress up in your finest vanilla outfit every time you communicate through your brand.
Vanilla might not ruffle any feathers, but it won’t captivate any best-fit clients either.
Try this reframe:
People will judge and dislike me if I say/do that >>> Saying/doing this feels true to me and it’s going to draw my best-fit clients closer to me.
Which one do you deal with the most? Or do all three come up?
Remember, reframing = unchaining.