3 mindfunk reframes for you
You’ve got the skills, you’ve got the knowledge, you’ve got the ambition, you’ve got the goals, and you’ve got the seventh cup of coffee, so why haven’t you got the line of best-fit clients queuing up at your door? The longer I’m in business, the more I understand how important the right mindset is to… everything. Including building a brand that you love living in as much as your best-fit clients love spending time inside. If you read last week’s Behind Closed Doors email, you’ll know that I’ve been “hiding” recently because of my skin. However, it’s not the way my skin looks that’s been stopping me from showing up on Instagram, it’s the mindset I have around the way my skin looks. My confidence and self-esteem is low and that will come through on social media. I don’t want that, so best stay away. People will think I’m unattractive. (Oh hey, ego, you sly fox!) People will be looking at my skin and judging it instead of listening to me speak and judging that. (Wtf.) All ridiculous, I know. And whether you, too, struggle with acne, or have skin as clear as a 24-carat diamond, I bet you recognise some of what I’m saying in whatever visibility niggles you deal with. When it comes to building the brand you really want to live in, there are three particular mindfunks that will try their mightiest to chain you down, and the faster you can increase awareness of them, the easier it will become to reframe – and unchain – them. 1. Doubting every idea you’ve ever had The scene goes something like this. BAM. Idea whacks you in brain. Wow! This is one of the best ideas I’ve ever had! THIS is what I’m supposed to be doing with my business! Finally, I’ve got it. Excitement percolates. You wonder if you’re a genius. Hmm. Is this actually a good idea though? Now that I’ve had time to think about it, I’m questioning my entire purpose on earth. Excitement turns to anxiety. You’re not a genius. You’re an idiot! Why on earth did I think that was a good idea? Every other business owner has probably had the same idea and not gone through with it because IT’S ACTUALLY A TERRIBLE IDEA. Anxiety squashes idea and pulls up a cosy chair in your brain until the next time an idea hits. Cycle repeats. I get it. This has happened to me so many times. And yet. If I always listened to the voice that told me my ideas weren’t worth bringing to life, Captivation House wouldn’t exist and I’d be stuck in an office, clock-watching like that was my job, praying the ice cream van turns up today because it is ROASTING LIKE A SWEET POTATO. Try this reframe: This idea is probably rubbish >>> This idea feels like it could be brilliant and so it’s worth exploring. 2. Comparing yourself to the entire internet Her website’s so much more professional than mine, anyone in their right mind would hire her over me. My brand photos make me look weird/fat/serious/insane/[insert any other negative thing here], but hers look slick af. She wrote about the same topic as me but her approach is 100x better. I could go on and on. Comparison could be used as a stun gun it’s so effective as getting us to not do the things we know we should do. But if you allow that to happen, you’re letting your ego make your decisions. Last time I checked, you were the boss. Try this reframe: My brand will never be/look as good as hers so I’m not going to do anything >>> She’s doing an awesome job with her brand in her own way, now I’m going to do an awesome job with mine in my own way. 3. Being scared to show up “as yourself” because you’re scared people won’t like the real you Truth: some people won’t like the real you. And that’s okay! In fact, it’s what we want. This state of mind is not a good enough reason to dress up in your finest vanilla outfit every time you communicate through your brand. Vanilla might not ruffle any feathers, but it won’t captivate any best-fit clients either. Try this reframe: People will judge and dislike me if I say/do that >>> Saying/doing this feels true to me and it’s going to draw my best-fit clients closer to me. Which one do you deal with the most? Or do all three come up? Remember, reframing = unchaining.
How to become the chosen one
I’ve kept just one dress from my days in corporate. Its one purpose? To wear to funerals. This dress pairs nicely with the one pair of heels I’ve kept from my days in corporate. (I used to stuff them into the bottom drawer of my desk at the office so I could change into them on arrival because I was almost always late and heels would only slow me down.) Unfortunately, I had to pull these out of the closet last week to say goodbye to someone who I will think of every time I hear a pigeon. Anyway, I don’t own that many pairs of shoes, but about 50% of the ones I do own are from the same brand. I’ll tell you why in a swift second. First, I want to share a quote from the marketing master, Seth Godin. “A brand is a set of expectations, memories, stories, and relationships that, taken together, account for a consumer’s decision to choose one service over another.” I haven’t yet made it all the way through a Seth Godin book (I know! What’s wrong with me?!) but I love his nuggets of wisdom almost as much as I love his yellow spectacles. The quote above is one that had me nodding my head like, ummm, a pigeon. Building a captivating brand means intentionally putting yourself in a league of your own, but being a category of one doesn’t automatically give people a reason to CHOOSE you. You still need to set an expectation. >>> Work with me and this is what you’ll get. Also, this is what you WON’T get. You still need to be memorable. If they can’t remember you, why would they buy from you? >>> This is the free brain tattoo I’m giving you. You still need to tell a story. A story that your best-fit clients can see themselves in. A story that’s worth sharing. >>> This is what I believe, and this is what I believe about you. Am I right? If so, here’s something you’ll love. You still need to build a relationship. >>> This is about more than profit. The experience you have here matters. If I ever need a new pair of shoes, I always head to Toms first. Here’s why. They’ve set my expectations >>> If I buy, I’m going to get cute, high-quality shoes that feel like clouds under my feet. They’re memorable >>> Aside from the fact their ad targeting is a little too good for a click-happy online shopper, I’ve bought from them so many times before that they automatically come to mind now. Hey, the best customer is a return customer. Also, I have specific memories attached to the brand. For example, the first gift I ever bought my other half was a pair of Toms! I’ve since bought a pair for my mum. Basically, if you know me, I might buy you a pair. You’re welcome. They tell a story I like to see myself in >>> Every time I buy a pair of shoes, Toms donates a pair to a child in need. That makes me feel good, like I’m part of a bigger movement that’s making a difference. How many shoe brands can 1) say that, and 2) make me feel that? There’s a relationship that’s built over time >>> I’ve only had one frustrating experience with the brand in, maybe, ten years (oh, how that makes me feel old) and that was when they changed their sizing without notice. I remember walking to a Coldplay concert having stuffed my feet into a pair of peacock-blue Toms and was in agony by the time I got there. Not even Chris Martin on the piano could fix me. WINK. (This is actually the kind of memory that could have caused me not to choose Toms again, but once I found my “new size” all was forgiven.) Branding is everything that makes a person decide to choose YOU. So, what expectations are you setting? What makes you memorable? What story are you telling? What relationship are you building? Note that nothing here mentions cost… Working with you might be someone else’s choice to make, but you don’t have to leave their choice up to chance. I know you won’t.